It's Not as Easy as it Looks...

My entire life, my parents have been controlling, to say the least. My dad spent a lot of time in my younger days micro-managing my meals. For example, I was not allowed to leave the house if I hadn’t eaten a banana and oatmeal. Cereal and an orange were unacceptable and punishable by law. If I tried to sneak around it and eat anything other than a banana and oatmeal, my privileges (TV, dessert, etc.) were revoked for a month or longer. On the other hand, my mother spent her time dictating my appearance. As far as clothing, I wasn’t allowed to wear T-shirts (seriously) or any other color or style of clothing that she didn’t like. Mind you, I was around 12 years old at the time. Otherwise, she was against any make-up or eyebrow shaping or even shaving my legs! Needless to say, my pre-teen and teenage years were rebellious ones.

I vowed that when I had children, I would NEVER force them to do anything they didn’t want to. In my fantasy future, my children would love me so much because I would allow them to do as they please, as long as they don’t get into trouble, and we’d have this unbreakable bond that would put my parents to shame.

Granted, my daughter is under 2 years old, but my perspective on parenting is definitely different than it was when I was 12. Now, I still disagree with A LOT of my parent’s decisions regarding my upbringing, but now I understand why they did what they did. My father is really into eating healthy and he didn’t want me to have bad eating habits early on. He thought if he forced one healthy meal down my throat a day, then I would make good eating decisions when I grew up. Unfortunately, that plan backfired, but I understand that he was coming from a good place. My mom was looking out for me in that she wanted me to be a well-groomed respectable young lady, and not dress in a way that would call undue attention to me. As a mother of a daughter, I understand why she wanted to keep me young for so long, but I still believe compromises could have been made.

At the end of the day, I have come to realize that parenting is hard, and you may not always make the right choices. You have to pick and choose your battles, and do what is best for your child. My hope is that my daughter understands the choices I’ve made and will make for her.